Driver's License RANT

Speaking of DL. I went last Friday to get mine (just 7 months over due). OK, so they don’t take Debit or Credit cards. I don’t have checks and didn’t feel like going back, so…..I went yesterday. I got off at 3pm because my boss and her boss are traveling so it was a safe time to go. I go and stand in line for 30 minutes. When I am called I give her my license and my form and she ask for SS#. I press my forehead into the contraption and hope that I can see the letters without my readers. Half way through the letters she says, “M’am, I am going to have to have your birth certificate”. . . UGH!

So I get my DL and Form and head to the house. I call Ronnie and ask for the combo to the safe, the one in the bedroom, I leave the car running in the garage…no I didn’t close the garage door…but it was tempting. I open the safe and pull out the envelope that contains my high school diploma – it hasn’t turned to dust quite yet – my three (yes 3) marriage licenses, plus my parent’s marriage license, plus 2 divorce decrees – yes I am still married to the last one! Low and behold my birth certificate is no where to be found…UGH! OK, it has been in this envelope and traveled with me from Texas, Oklahoma, Washington, Florida and should be residing IN THE ENVELOPE IN THE SAFE IN TEXAS! I call Ronnie – he has no idea where it might be – it should be on the top shelf where all the papers are, I am irritated by now at myself and at him for not sympathizing and dropping what he is doing and running home to help me look – without that little piece of paper from the Texas DPS, I can’t go to New York! So I start tearing through everything on the top shelf of the safe and I mean everything – I found the titles to the cars, Ronnie’s birth certificate, Jaclyn’s birth certificate, even a birth certificate for a Cabbage Patch Doll! OK so it’s not in there, so where is could it be. Also, by now I am sweating my butt off. The A/C is programmed to come on at 4:30 and it is only 4:15. I looked for the Metal Box that I have kept the envelope in that hold the Marriage Certificates, Divorce Papers and my Diploma for eons, like before we got the safe, and it is not in there!!!! What the heck? Now I am VERY irritated. I call Ronnie again and being the supportive wonderful husband that he is – he has turned off his cell phone….can you say pissed! Now I have 2 rooms that have papers strewn all over the place. Next place the armoire in the master bedroom. It has a “secret” compartment and it could be chance be in there….no luck, but a lot of nice BIRTHDAY CARDS from loved ones and friends. No time to get nostalgic I only have 30 minutes until the DL office closes and I AM going to get this handled!

So far we have 3 rooms with papers from floor to ceiling – so I start the process all over again. I look through a blue bank bag again, except this time I pull out the envelope of stuff in it. On the front of the envelope is written Vici’s Birth Certificate…could it be….YES!

So I jump in the car and head to the DPS office – stand in line another 20 minutes and ask, “Why did you need my Birth Certificate”? Instead of the “you waited way too long to renew your license”, I got “The computer picks people randomly that have to produce their Birth Certificate”. . . and it just happened to be me!