Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Lewisville Citizen Police Academy

In 2001 my husband and I moved from Jacksonville, Florida to Lewisville, Texas, even though he had sworn that he would NEVER live in North Texas. But since I am a native Texan, and the wife - I won the war! When looking for a new home. We had a few priorities – a one story, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, 2 car garage in a nice neighborhood. We settled on Lewisville. We bought a nice home on a cul-de-sac near Memorial Park.
We found the neighbors to be nice and friendly. 4th of July parties, new friends (Even Fire Chief Lasky lived next door). Life was good! We had made a good choice! Lewisville, Texas was home.
Eight years later I decided to participate in the Lewisville Citizen Police Academy, as my husband had the year before. During the class, my rose colored glasses were shattered.

These are a few of the details I learned about my city.
► In 2008 over 5,000 people were arrested for various offenses.

►There are actual prostitution houses in upscale neighborhoods, along with a few “crack” houses in the less prestigious part of our city, demonstrating that crime knows no boundaries.

► Not every one wants police protection, even the woman who has been beaten on many occasions by her husband or boyfriend and refuses to press charges.

►There are more than 55 sex offender in the 42 square miles that Lewisville encompasses.

► We are home to 6 gangs with the youngest gang member being only 12 years old.

My question to the class was, “Who would have known that this small city would have these challenges?”

And then “Why don’t we the citizens know about these issues?”

The answer I received was politics versus reality. It’s the Chamber of Commerce syndrome. Chambers are comprised of businesses whose goal it is to further the interest of businesses within the community.
So why would the city publicize the challenges that are not only a part of Lewisville, but every city.

So how does a city like Lewisville confront it’s reality?
By using these avenues:

Community Programs like the Neighborhood Watch Program, Law Enforcement Exploring Program for youth and the School Resource Officer Program.
Informing our citizens using the city’s website with eAlert subscriptions, Chief Kerbow’s weekly update and ability to know where in the city Sex Offenders reside
AND Educating our citizens through . . . the very class we just completed.

I want to let you know that we are a very fortunate city. We have a very dedicated group of people who take these challenges personally . . . 24 hours a day . . . 365 days a year.
They are the hardworking, distinguished men and women of the Lewisville Police Department.
With the guidance of Chief Kerbow, we have officers like SWAT Commander Lt. Kendall Lynn, Detective Robert Feagins, K-9 Officer Shane Menz (my favorite)

And our class’s mentor, the legendary Training Officer Scott Pedigo: Along with many others in the Lewisville Police Department who spend more than their fair share of time, effort and energy to balance politics and reality making Lewisville, Texas a city where everyone would want to live.

I learned a tremendous amount about our city and our outstanding Police Department. It is my personal mission and I hope it is yours also, to recommend this class to all Lewisville citizens every chance we get. And to warn them of Officer Pedigo, the consummate class clown!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Operation Write Home

Looking on the right side of my blog is a link to Operation Write Home. . .so why is it there?
After picking up a flyer at a scrapbook convention this summer in Austin, TX and knowing that our team at JCPenney was looking for volunteer projects, I put the two together and approached our volunteer committee with the idea. Last Thursday, December 3rd, at our monthly department, we put together 120 Valentine's cards. The cards will be sent to our troops, so they can send a card to their loved ones back home. Hallmark hasn't expanded their operations to the Middle East!

If you are a scrapbooker you too can make a small difference in the lives of our troops. Click on the link and get started!

Oh, I almost forgot - Any Hero Cards - there is also an opportunity to send cards to "Any Hero". This explains it best...News from the homefront—even from strangers—is a treasure to those far from home. "Hero Mail is great," says one Chaplain. "I go out and pray with the soldiers before missions and I hand out Hero Mail." Letters are distributed to those who rarely get mail, or to those most in need of encouragement the day the box arrives. "It helps to know that we are remembered!"

Monday, November 23, 2009

My Version of Turkey Trot

First you get up early, have a hearty breakfast, put on your running shoes, and get your grocery ads, coupons and GO!

First stop, Wally World. Swanson chicken broth .45¢ a can, grab 12 cans total $5.4. Next, Green Giant vegetables corn and beans. 50¢ a can, grab another 12 cans $6.00. The great deer/pig hunter wants Ham. So what if we have 2 pigs worth of meat in the freezer we want spiral cut grocery store ham! Wally World has the cheapest per pound – grabbed a BIG one! OK, so it’s not a turkey, but the ham will be eaten on Turkey Day.

Second stop, Albe’s. If you buy $20 worth of groceries you get a turkey for .33¢ a pound! OK, so here I get soda’s, Diet Mt. Dew – 4 twelve packs for $10. Find the frozen veggies – 10/$10 - met the $20 mark and now we get a 20lb Turkey for .33¢ a pound and away we go!

Third stop, Kroger! Kroger has really good fresh veggies and a turkey for .33¢ pound if you buy $20 worth of groceries . . . I buy onion, celery, potatoes, mushrooms, apples, bananas and for good measure I throw in a roast for when the ham and turkey gets to be too much. Get another 20 lb turkey for .33¢ a lb!

Final stop, Tom Thumb to finish up Thanksgiving Dinner shopping. Well, when you spend $25 here you get turkey for .33¢ a pound. Who says there’s no price fixing? Get all the rest of ingredients for a little more than $25 and don’t forget the turkey! Another 20 pounder.

Get home – forgot the freezer door is blocked by a wet vac, a compressor and 3,000 sheets of plywood – thinking how in the world am I going to get all these turkeys in the freezer! Thank goodness I have a wonderful daughter that lives about 1.7 miles from the house. As she pulls up, she is laughing at her mom standing in the garage surrounded by turkeys! Get it?!?! We move the compressor, the vacuum and then start to wiggle the plywood far enough to the side to get the door open just wide enough to stuff those birds in.

The birds are in, the groceries are put away and dog-gone-it, the real “Turkey Trotters” may run a mile or two but I’ve covered 4 grocery stores in 5 square miles, moved 3,000 pieces of plywood and I have 1 ham, 3 turkeys and all the fixin's for Thanksgiving Dinnerto show for it. The real “Turkey Trotters” just have sore muscles! I think I like my Turkey Trot better!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Neiman Marcus Catalog Shoppin'

Peaches: Woo Hoo!! The new Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog just came out. Does anyone have a couple hundred grand I can borrow??

Earlene: No, honey I don’t, this well has run dry, but I’ll send you the SEARS catalog and let you pick something really special from it. Will that work?

Peaches: I was hoping for a Cupcake Car for Christmas!

Dolly Mae: This will make you laugh! They made a mistake on one of Tar-Ja Product Descriptions. It is a computer screen cleaner that can be washed gently – it comes as a dog, cat, dick and bear. Which one would you like for Christmas?

Peaches: OMG I have to go see that for myself . . .Because that is funny!

Earlene: You girls stop right now. I don’t want to read another one of “Dolly Mae’s” blogs about THIS conversation.

Dolly Mae: Keep it going chicky – I need new material for my blog so more people will read it and I can start collecting pennies from Google Heaven.

Earlene: I didn’t find the screen cleaner BUT I found an electric cork screw!!!! Hmmmmmm.

Peaches: LOL ya’ll are funny! I did a general search of the website and didn’t find any screen cleaners . . . so I think someone’s imagining things they want for Christmas.

Dolly Mae: NOT this chick – maybe you two? I’ve got cobwebs older than ya’ll.

Dolly Mae: The screen cleaner hasn’t made it to the Christmas on-line tab...But what about a new product “The Electric Dick Screen Cleaner Cork Screw”?

Peaches: Yes, Dolly Mae the Christmas Book is online . . . HELLO, put your glasses on and look at the subject line of the emails!

Dolly Mae: I am talking about the Tar-Ja on-line.

Peaches: I thought we were still shopping at Neiman Marcus.

Dolly Mae: No, No, No, the Neiman Marcos one is probably raccoon lined and we can’t afford that one. Maybe Wally World will come out with one that is rabbit lined and it will be cheaper.

Earlene: Does the“The Electric Dick Screen Cleaner Cork Screw”? REALLY get rid of the cobwebs????

Dolly Mae: Dust, cobwebs, creatures of the male persuasion!

Earlene: If I order within the next 10 minutes, will my offer be DOUBLED???

Dolly Mae: I THOUGHT you would need AT least 2...

Earlene: YEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWW!!!!!! Can I give you my pre-paid debit card number??? I just got it yesterday from one of those check cashin’ places. Do you take an El Master Cardo?

Peaches: El Master Cardo, Really??? I might have to get one of those to pay for the Bubba's new gently used teeth.

Peaches: This is quickly going turning into a conversation I am not sure I want to have with you two gals.

Earlene: Oh c’mon, Peaches……………….you know we can converse about ANYTHING!!!!

Peaches: ANYTHING??? I am not so sure Dolly May wants to hear about anything, because that could include everything..... She might stick her fingers in her ears and start yelling ..."LALALALALALA". I think Dolly Mae would have a stroke and then we would have to sell the “The Electric Dick Screen Cleaner Cork Screw” to keep her in the home!

Dolly Mae: I have a thought – ya’ll should go into business ‘cus you are so excited about the “The Electric Dick Screen Cleaner Cork Screw”. You could make money like “Mary Kay” does with make-up, you could start it up and then get all your friends to sell and all their friends and then you could support poor ole “moi” and Uncle Hunterman.

Earlene: Sorry ladies for the delay in getting back to ya'll...I was ordering my 2 ‘fer special and it took a little longer than I anticipated. I couldn’t understand Jose very well. It’s hard to translate between the Spanish and Redneck languages.

See ya’ll later at Wally World!

Earlene (Retta), Peaches (Jaclyn), Dolly Mae (Vici):

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Sun Shines Out of His Arse

So today one of the Managers ask me to make the sun shine again . . . one of the easier things I have been asked to do in my years as an admin!
The blow up doll was probably the craziest!
What is the craziest thing a boss has asked you to do?

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Suburban Redneck Wedding Conversation

Dolly May: I got the Holiday Inn Express for Saturday night. They have a hot breakfast. We are coming in Saturday morning.

I think we are going to a Hamburger joint we saw on Dinner, Drive-ins and Dives in downtown Houston – you and Whittle can join us. It would be fun! Uncle Hunter would love to see you and Whittle.

Earlene: I have a hair appointment on Saturday. I haven’t had my hair did since June and it looks shabby. So, Miss Darlene is going to trim it and style it for me.

Buford will be coming with Whittle and me. I hope they don’t mind because I never received an invitation, had to move again – the double wide flooded and now we are at the homeless shelter – not too bad we get free meals and showers, so I couldn’t RSVP. What’s RSVP mean anyway?

Dolly May: I am getting my hairs done next Friday, so maybe the duck tail in the back will go away – Growing out your hair is not fun. Uncle Hunter is getting his sides trimmed up but the back is getting nice and long like Billy Ray. His arm is healing up nicely since he went noodling in August. Still haven't heard if he will be keeping his job at the screen door factory. Have you decided on what you are wearing your white skort or your purple leggings?

Earlene: This time last year, the back of my head was SHAVED!!! So, I’ve come a LONGGGGGG way, baby!!! I did go looking on Sunday at Goodwill that’s where I found the tube top. I have decided to wear the tube top and a mini skirt with flip flops!

I just asked permission to bring a guest, big sissy. Carol Sue said, "Yes, just be sure he doesn’t take his teeth out at the table."

Dolly May: I talked with Tammy Fay and we thought we would all meet at Salty’s or Dalton’s about 6pm before the wedding to have a beer or 2.

Earlene: We’d better go a little earlier. The 20th Annual Cajun Catfish festival is going on that weekend and it’s just a couple of blocks from the wedding. I’m not sure if they have “designated parking” for the facility.

If worse comes to worse, I can pack a cooler with beer and we can TAIL GATE before the wedding!

Peaches: Oh, I love the Tail-gating Idea!!!! That would be awesome!

Earlene: We’ll show everyone that Big Bubba’s side of the family is totally COOL! And because we’ll all be dressed up, they’ll think we’re elegant red necks!

Dolly May: Hey, Earlene – please add your number on the bottom of your email 'cuz I have to look up the number every time I want to call....

Earlene: Would ya’ll prefer a keg or just cans iced down??? I can get a good deal on Pabst Blue Ribbon……..I have friends in low places!
Hey, Dolly May - please add my phone number in your ROLODEX, under Earlene.

Dolly May: I ran out of pages, 'cuz you've moved and changed your phone number so many times!

Peaches: Let's get a keg. Maybe we can get Cat and Tucker to do a post wedding keg stand.

Earlene: I’ll get 2 kegs. One for us, and we’ll sell beer to the guests as they’re coming in. That way, Peaches and I can make some extra money!

Peaches: Ok, so I was just on Facebook and I took the "When will you get pregnant?" Quiz.... it said 10/10/09 sooooo I should probably stay fairly sober at Cat's wedding.... as to not end up with a bun-in-the-oven..... because you know results of quizzes on Facebook and they are always very accurate.

Earlene: Yippee…..I’m going to be a Great Aunt!!!! Who are you going to pick for the Daddy????

Peaches: That is the problem I have no idea... Do you know anyone who wants to be my Baby Daddy? I sure there is a closet somewhere at the wedding where we can make it happen. Or maybe I should just troll the Catfish Festival there will surely be a couple of willing guys there.

Earlene: Girlfriend, don’t you worry your pretty little head…………….I have no doubt that we can hook you up! All you have to do is show up. Buford has a little brother. Would you like for me to make a phone call?

Peaches: Does he have good teeth? Because I just can't have a Baby Daddy with bad teeth. No sir-ie-bob...

Earlene: Oh yeah! The ones he has left are cavity free………..

Dolly May: With parking being a problem we could carpool from the Holiday Inn– Hey! We can get a Keg for our room and party there! We could get some bologna and cheddar cheese and maybe some of those little weenies with BBQ Sauce...I am sure Holiday Inn wouldn’t mind us frying a turkey in the parking lot!

Earlene: I have a friend that has a wagon that they use for trail rides…………….it’s got a bad-to-the-bone sound system in it. We could hook up the disco music and party down!!!! I’ll even pull out my old rainbow afro wig!!! I've been saving it for a special occasion!

I can’t WAIT!!!!

Peaches: We have the Big Red 4x4, everyone can pile in the bed with lawn chairs!!!!

SEE YOU at Casey & Mark's Wedding - OCT 10TH!
Earlene (Retta), Peaches (Jaclyn), Dolly Mae (Vici):

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Killing Trees!

OK, OK !. . . I know it is my job - but you would think that someone would come up with a new, exciting way for everyone to view the same info, at the same time, make comments/changes - other than printing and copying a zillion pieces of paper.
WOW! . . . I think that I may have stumbled on to my contribution to the world - now if I can just make it happen.
DARN! . . . You would have to get everyone to go along and you know that ain't happening!

P.S. - I had to take a break before I go "Mad"!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Hunting REALLY?

Being the wife of an avid deer, dove, turkey, anything that moves hunter, I have a very important question. How many duffle bags of gear does it take to shoot a deer, dove, turkey or anything that moves? Being the naive wife of a hunting fanatic, silly me thought that it only took 1 rifle and 1 bullet and maybe some Camouflage (that's the clothing that makes you invisible) i.e., Camo.

Wake up and smell the doe pee! To put down a deer, dove, turkey, anything that moves, it takes much more than 1 rifle and 1 bullet.

It takes several rifles, not sure of the all the designations of each (I think one is a 30.6 - "thirty ought six") but they are all very important. Soooo, it is only logical that if you have several rifles, you will need excess amounts of bullets (also known as ammo).

I was aware that he had a "couple" of extra large duffle bags - but not SEVEN, yes SEVEN - bulging at the seams. Not sure what all is in them, not sure I want to know.

I grew up with a brother that hunted. He would walk out to the deer blind (No the deer aren't blind. That's what they call the place where they hide from the deer so they can shoot them.) He would have a beer in one hand and a cigarette in another. BOOM! Deer down!

So does the hubby REALLY need more than one rifle, one bullet and REALLY SEVEN duffle bags of STUFF? Can anyone explain this to me?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The BIG Apple!

What an awesome 5 days in NYC! sooooo little time and soooo much to see! Statue of Liberty-- Battery Park--Ground Zero--the Subways--Staten Island Ferry--The Today Show--5th Ave. St. Patrick's--Bergdorf's--Central Park--Strawberry Fields--The Dakota--the Friend's Fountain--Time's Square--Queen Latifa on GMA --Neil Patrick Harris--Ferrera's Bakery--The Empire State Bldg--The United Nations--The Mike Huckabee Show Taping--"9 to 5" on Broadway--and there is soooo much more to do and see - hopefully, there is another trip in my future!
JCPENNEY - Manhattan
I do have to mention the New Manhattan JCPenney store that is opening the end of this month. It is a beautiful store and across the street from Macy's, I think we are giving them heartburn! They have actually changed the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade route! Just 'cuz we moved in across the street!

I have been asked what I liked the best, so here goes - I really believe that the most important thing do to in NYC is visit Ground Zero and the World Trade Center Tribute Center and be sure and take the walking tour. The Tribute Center tells the story of 9/11 and has pictures of the 2,996 victims of this senseless attack. The Tribute Center is next to Fire Station 10, all the firefighters at that station were lost that day.
Our walking tour was lead by 2 victims of the attack. The first was a Lt. in the Fire Department. The other was the mother of a fire fighter. We toured the site as it is being rebuilt. The "foot prints" of Tower 1 and Tower 2 are sacred ground and will be tribute fountains.
To hear the stories of those that experienced this horrific day, brings the TV screen and news reports to a new level of reality. A place that is poignant, heartwrenching, yet uplifting. Everyone that has the chance to visit and listen to the stories should - It will restore your faith in mankind and make you even prouder to be an American. . . .

Friday, July 3, 2009

RAVE - It's Official!

Ronnie is now a part of the Christian Brothers Automotive! We are both very excited about this change in employment. He no longer has to work Saturdays. . . did you hear me NO MORE SATURDAYS. This is the first time in our married life (12 years today) that he will be home on Saturdays AND Sundays . . . a real weekend.

He is no longer 4 miles from work. . .he can walk to work! It is 1/2 a city block from the house!He starts on July 16th. . .did I mention that we are both very excited?

A little about CBA. . .

Mission and Purpose
To glorify God by providing ethical and excellent automotive repair service for our customers, according to Colossians 3:17,

"And whatever you do in word and deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father."

This says it all about CBA. WOW! Talk about Hope and Change. . .Ronnie now has both with CBA!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Driver's License RANT

Speaking of DL. I went last Friday to get mine (just 7 months over due). OK, so they don’t take Debit or Credit cards. I don’t have checks and didn’t feel like going back, so…..I went yesterday. I got off at 3pm because my boss and her boss are traveling so it was a safe time to go. I go and stand in line for 30 minutes. When I am called I give her my license and my form and she ask for SS#. I press my forehead into the contraption and hope that I can see the letters without my readers. Half way through the letters she says, “M’am, I am going to have to have your birth certificate”. . . UGH!

So I get my DL and Form and head to the house. I call Ronnie and ask for the combo to the safe, the one in the bedroom, I leave the car running in the garage…no I didn’t close the garage door…but it was tempting. I open the safe and pull out the envelope that contains my high school diploma – it hasn’t turned to dust quite yet – my three (yes 3) marriage licenses, plus my parent’s marriage license, plus 2 divorce decrees – yes I am still married to the last one! Low and behold my birth certificate is no where to be found…UGH! OK, it has been in this envelope and traveled with me from Texas, Oklahoma, Washington, Florida and should be residing IN THE ENVELOPE IN THE SAFE IN TEXAS! I call Ronnie – he has no idea where it might be – it should be on the top shelf where all the papers are, I am irritated by now at myself and at him for not sympathizing and dropping what he is doing and running home to help me look – without that little piece of paper from the Texas DPS, I can’t go to New York! So I start tearing through everything on the top shelf of the safe and I mean everything – I found the titles to the cars, Ronnie’s birth certificate, Jaclyn’s birth certificate, even a birth certificate for a Cabbage Patch Doll! OK so it’s not in there, so where is could it be. Also, by now I am sweating my butt off. The A/C is programmed to come on at 4:30 and it is only 4:15. I looked for the Metal Box that I have kept the envelope in that hold the Marriage Certificates, Divorce Papers and my Diploma for eons, like before we got the safe, and it is not in there!!!! What the heck? Now I am VERY irritated. I call Ronnie again and being the supportive wonderful husband that he is – he has turned off his cell phone….can you say pissed! Now I have 2 rooms that have papers strewn all over the place. Next place the armoire in the master bedroom. It has a “secret” compartment and it could be chance be in there….no luck, but a lot of nice BIRTHDAY CARDS from loved ones and friends. No time to get nostalgic I only have 30 minutes until the DL office closes and I AM going to get this handled!

So far we have 3 rooms with papers from floor to ceiling – so I start the process all over again. I look through a blue bank bag again, except this time I pull out the envelope of stuff in it. On the front of the envelope is written Vici’s Birth Certificate…could it be….YES!

So I jump in the car and head to the DPS office – stand in line another 20 minutes and ask, “Why did you need my Birth Certificate”? Instead of the “you waited way too long to renew your license”, I got “The computer picks people randomly that have to produce their Birth Certificate”. . . and it just happened to be me!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

JCPenney New on FACEBOOK

My other home is JCPenney Home Office where "Everyday Matters"! (OK, OK, so they have us a little brainwashed!) I'll be bringing you information about JCP occasionally to help all us budget minded shoppers. I hope you'll become a Facebook fan of JCPenney today!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

RAVE - Home Depot

A big "Thank You" goes out to Eric at the Lewisville Home Depot for giving me a 30 gallon Crepe Myrtle half price! Lesson - If you don't ask you won't get!