Saturday, May 29, 2010

The Yearly Breast Exam Unplugged

Picture this: Annual physical at the Doctor Gorgeous's office. Blood pressure check, draw some blood, pee in a cup (messy), EKG. Next comes the breast exam. Even though I passed through menopause 10 years ago when I was 30 (wink, wink), I am still hot as a firecracker most of the time. And no it is not the extra 30 lbs of fluff covering the slim body I see in the mirror! I have been hot since I was born! I digress...

Now to the breast exam . . . Did I mention that my doctor looks like he stepped out of a GQ magazine! Well, now I am laying down on the table with my right arm above my head and he starts the exam. Now to The Good Part, I say outloud, "Wow, your hands feel good!" If you know me at all, you know that this is not unusual for me to speak without thinking! (Remember I am hot as a firecracker all the time, well, I forgot to finish the statement... "because your hands are cold" . . . NO, I just say, "Wow, your hands feel good!"

Before I could explain myself, Doctor Gorgeous says, "Everyone likes to be felt up every once in a while."

I almost fell off the table and peed my pants at the same time! So here I am, breasts and all, and Dr. Gorgeous and I are laughing like teenagers on their first date!

If all yearly physicals were this much fun, I would petition the AMA for semi annual visits!