Saturday, May 29, 2010

The Yearly Breast Exam Unplugged

Picture this: Annual physical at the Doctor Gorgeous's office. Blood pressure check, draw some blood, pee in a cup (messy), EKG. Next comes the breast exam. Even though I passed through menopause 10 years ago when I was 30 (wink, wink), I am still hot as a firecracker most of the time. And no it is not the extra 30 lbs of fluff covering the slim body I see in the mirror! I have been hot since I was born! I digress...

Now to the breast exam . . . Did I mention that my doctor looks like he stepped out of a GQ magazine! Well, now I am laying down on the table with my right arm above my head and he starts the exam. Now to The Good Part, I say outloud, "Wow, your hands feel good!" If you know me at all, you know that this is not unusual for me to speak without thinking! (Remember I am hot as a firecracker all the time, well, I forgot to finish the statement... "because your hands are cold" . . . NO, I just say, "Wow, your hands feel good!"

Before I could explain myself, Doctor Gorgeous says, "Everyone likes to be felt up every once in a while."

I almost fell off the table and peed my pants at the same time! So here I am, breasts and all, and Dr. Gorgeous and I are laughing like teenagers on their first date!

If all yearly physicals were this much fun, I would petition the AMA for semi annual visits!


  1. LOL...
    I think I'd visit a lot more often too!

  2. That's hysterical! Good thing he had a sense of humor about it.

  3. I think I blushed reading that. LOL

  4. Thank you for the morning laugh! :)

  5. I laughed out loud reading this, thanks.

  6. OMFG ive thought it before but my filter still works most of the time hahaha

  7. Dear lord this is one of the best stories I've read in a long time!!!